The processes of separation and divorce
are among the most difficult that mothers and fathers may face,
whether by choice, or not. While parents make emotional and financial
adjustments, and create plans for the best ways to co-parent, they
can easily miss signals relating to the children's needs or concerns.
It is important for parents to try to imagine
what it must feel like for a child to lose the comforts of ritual
and routine which include both parents, and to lose trust, even
on a temporary basis. It is also normal for children to lose self-confidence
during this transition, and to lose their sense of security, which
may be the most traumatic of all.
Kids can ultimately feel like they lost
their childhood if they are forced to deal with adult issues, or
have to assume responsibilities prematurely. Children, like their
parents, need time and consideration in order to re-establish a
sense of balance.
Parents do not need to go through the terrible
hurts of separation or divorce alone, without support. In fact,
those who may be able to understand what you are experiencing, better
than anyone else, can be other parents who have been there, and
particularly professionals who have also experienced this type of
crisis or challenge!
Numerous resources, including Family Support, are available to provide problem-solving and decision-making
support as parents consider options about their future, and that
of their children.
Michael K. Jeanes
Clerk of Superior Court